What is the simplest action one can do daily to grow spiritually? Part 1

‘Damn! You shall land both of us in trouble one of the days. How many times I have told you not to do it this way’ -the boss bellowed. I was listening to him quietly with my cheeks red seething with anger. It was one of the rare times, a mistake had happened in the process. I wished he had just told me the mistake and not heaped all those insults on me. How many of us have faced this kind of situation on either side of the table? Have we all not, at times faced or reacted with the three toxic emotions of • Hurt (physical/ mental/ harm to self or other) • Abuse (blaming self or other for a situation) • Humiliation (holding ourself superior or inferior to someone in a situation) in various scenarios of our day to day life? I call the three emotions “HAH’ of our life. Even the best of spiritual people are plagued by them off and on. We unknowingly use them left, right and centre and thus ‘HAH’ lead to many painful ‘AHHs’ in our lives. Can we do something to do away with the ‘AHHs’ of the ‘HAH’? Spirituality could mean many things to each of us. For me, it translates to some practice done on a daily basis which makes me emotionally more peaceful and happier within myself. What was the one thing that could have been or should have been done in above situation to hopefully have more peace and happiness for all involved? I share what has worked for me. Purity of intent is the antidote to the ‘HAH.’ Purity like beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. The situation was simple and just needed the sharing of the mistake. The anger of the damned or probably the after regret of demeaning another human being could have been avoided. Here is a story to bring the essence of the pure antidote home. Mulla Nasiruddin used to visit a saint. He visited for many, many days. And the saint was silent; he will not speak anything. Then Mulla Nasiruddin had to ask, “I have been coming again and again, waiting that you will say something, and you have not said anything. And unless you say, I cannot understand, so just give me a message for my life, a direction so that I can move in that direction.” So that Sufi sage said, “NEKI KAR KUYEN MAY DAL: Do good and throw it in the well.” It is one of the oldest Sufi sayings: “Do good and throw it in the well.” It means do good and forget it immediately; don’t carry that “I have done good.” So next day Mulla Nasiruddin helped one old woman to cross the road, and then he pushed her into the well. “NEKI KAR KUYEN MAY DAL: DO good and throw it in the well.” Story credit: https://oshostories.wordpress.com/2020/12/03/do-good-and-throw-it-in-the-well/ This is the (neki) do good spirit that most of us practice when we do actions without being aware of our real intent. We at times land up pushing the other or ourselves in the dark emotions of the ‘HAH’. Going back to the situation between me and my boss, the intent here actually was to rectify the error in the process and to equip me to watch for the errors in future. But unwittingly, my boss just landed humiliating, abusing as well as mentally harming me. A simple conversation of pin pointing the miss and how to avoid the miss in the future should have ideally done the trick. If despite repeatedly explaining the error and the way to avoid the error, I still did not understand. My boss as the leader may have told me- ‘let’s shift you to another department where your skill set is more compatible.’ I may still feel hurt, abused or humiliated, but the intent of my boss was pure. As the leader he is to help me realise my potential in the most conducive way for me as well as the whole team. By suggesting a transfer to a profile more suited to my skill, he would have done justice to both. His intent in suggesting the shift is free of hurt, abuse and humiliation for me. Let me share a few examples to substantiate. The new born child is always whacked by the doctor on the back so the baby can breathe on its own. What is the intent of this action? Is the doctor wanting to hurt the child or blaming the child for not being able to take the first breath or feeling superior to the child? The whack does not have any of the three emotions- the intent was to make the child breathe. The outer action looks very violent though the intent is a pure one. Another daily life situation, the charity we all do for others. Charity mostly is done from a space of superiority, where one feels that the other is to be pitied hence supported. Since we are in a better position thus, we can give to the other. We mostly expect to be rewarded for our charity in terms of good karma or name / fame. Would we ever pity our loved ones, though we support them fully? In fact, any support or charity done, needs a much purer intent as the help is a gift that we are extending to the other. A gift can be given only from a space of respect for the other. To be continued……