The current times are very tough for all of us. The pandemic and the loss of normal feeling of life is not helping any one. The loneliness is getting deeper and tougher for quite a few of us to handle. There are jobs lost, relationships broken, depression getting the better of us.
Lets delve into what causes the emotional hurt to occur and then to deepen to an extent where we are ready to do self harm. Our brain still works on a primitive reaction of “Flight and Fight” response as a first reaction. It’s only a few seconds later that the higher emotion regulating and sense making parts of the brain can step in. The important part is how quick we can make this connection.
The oxygenation of the brain is a vital aspect of this connection. The brain uses a lot of oxygen when it processes the information. Any kind of exercise routine is good to have for a healthy brain. There is though still an important factor which is still missing. That is our conscious responsibility towards our own emotional health. For all of us who want to do that please read on.
After having worked with so many youngsters and elderly over these years and helping them understand and heal the space of emotions, this is what I have to share. A range of emotions can form in us- fear, guilt, betrayal, anxiety, anger, pain emotional or physical for majorly two reasons.
Also Read: How Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) helps to accept change and respond?
Expectations from self and others
Ah! Have we not all heard from us saying-“ oh but I expect my husband/parents/society/child/friends/office people/ etc to do this for me and it needs to be done like this.
We expect a few things from our selves also, when you say that I really need to do all this work in the week/ I really need to buy that car this year/I have to learn this Tech course to make a progress now.
In both these cases you are expressing an expectation but there is a major difference in the two.
The first case can lead to a lot of disappointment, feeling of being unloved, inferiority/ superiority complex due to feeling of inadequacy for self or from the other. What is important to understand is that expectations are like playing a ball with self or the other. If you want the ball of expectation to be caught for sure, it has to be in a way that the ball is not missed .The trick in the expectations is to realise your role in it. Expectations need to be calibrated strongly with the inner self. If these come from the artificial layer of conditioning, they can be very damaging to the emotional health.
It’s effective though to be like a small child and do what you do from a space of innocence means you give happily whatever you can offer to the other and receive happily what the other can offer to you. If this part is difficult than it simply means a hurt inner child that is finding difficult to give and receive with an open heart. Either the inner child is too possessive or he is too demure – both could lead to issues of expectations not fulfilled with self as well as with others. In such case through various ways the inner child is accessed and healed to be in better touch with self.
Disconnection with self
The most major reason for all kind of problems in life and expectations is disconnection with self. When this happens, we give our control naturally away to the other or the outside. An often quoted quote- “An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship“. The negativity of the world or any one can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.
These holes are what happen in our ship when we are not in touch with our deeper layers of existence. There are many ways and techniques available to do this. Emotional empowerment is a process of getting in touch with my deeper self. I live with one person all my life for sure and that person is I-myself. Sadly we have been trained and bred to live with the society but have hardly any clues as to how to live with the self. Allow me to help you with this eternal connection. This can be done provided you are committed to live with yourself a happy and fulfilled life.
Once this part is done , life can be a journey to be enjoyed.