What is the purpose of your life? What should one do to feel fulfilled and successful? You must have pondered over these questions a zillion times without returning answers. The questions are genuine and so must be the answers. Let’s delve a little deeper into this quest. Scientifically, life evolved just like that and the flow of the life goes on its pace without fear and favour to any of us. The purpose of my life is actually to govern this pace and use it to my advantage. We can choose to surf this pace or be overwhelmed by it. The choice is ours completely to make. The definitions of success and fulfilment more or less depend on whether I can handle what life throws at me or not and do what I want to do with my life.
I choose to work in the well rounded realm of Energy, emotions and communication with my coachee. This threesome determines the quality of my mind and thus my life. While I cannot change much the outside conditions, there is a lot that can be changed inside me to make the most of the events around me. Allow me to take you a little deeper into the three realms.
Also read : Reasons for responsible for all kind of Emotional Hurt/ imbalance and how to cure them
Energy
What is the self composed of in any living being
Physical– Body, my health and resources needed to sustain the body includes food, family, society, money etc. This is my physical quotient.
Energy – managing the life force in the body that circulate in the body through my breath. This quotient helps me to focus and target my life force pointedly at a pursuit. This is my energy focus quotient.
Mental – my value system, these are principles that I abide by for living my life and how I apply the value system practically in my own life and in social settings around me. This is my belief quotient.
Emotional – how well I understand emotions and feel connected to myself and to others. This is my emotional quotient.
Spiritual – what lies beyond me and this small planet that I inhabit? What kind of cosmic intelligence runs this show? Is there something beyond me? This is my faith quotient.
The fact is that all these aspects remain in the unconscious realm for larger part of my life. Unless I own up the responsibility of these 4 aspects separately and consciously work on them. I may keep feeling something was amiss in my life. These 4 aspects are like 4 wheels of the car. These 4 parts need to be aligned in one direction for the car to be running at its optimum. Each of the quotient form one part of me and it’s obvious that none of them can be ignored.
Emotions
Emotions are nothing but energy in motion. These originate from- as well as guide and direct the belief quotient, emotional quotient and the spiritual quotient in a circular way. These are impulses to act. The emotions are a part of our survival mechanism which evolved over years of existence. Fight and flight being the two most basic emotions ingrained in the body. Happy, sad, Anger, disgust, fear and surprise exhibited by babies and animals are the core emotions. As the higher intelligence developed in human beings the emotions developed to a range of impulses to act. Compassion, gratitude, joy, depression, lonely, serene, pensive, discouraged, inadequate are just a few in the widest range of emotions that humans can feel.
The eternal conflict between the emotions and logic, the heart and the mind has held a human captive many a times. The decision making becomes a task as the blind rush of emotions take over. Many a crime has been due to an incontrollable gush of emotions. Many a discoveries and life saving miracles have also happened for the same reason as above. The trick here is to notice each emotion for what it is, realise/ understand the impulse to act ingrained in that emotion and then very consciously choose the action. The idea of being emotionally literate is not to allow the emotion to overtake/ overwhelm you. Only when one can look at the emotion and then decide the response in awareness can we say that we are emotionally intelligent or literate. As a friend, I can help you bring an awareness of your own emotional reactions and then slowly and steadily turn them into emotional responses. This would lead to more control over self and situations leading to a better quality of life.
Communication
I choose to break this word into two- “common union”. The idea of communication is to arrive at a clear import of the words or gestures used in an exchange. The communication happens through these 3 levels at all times whether we realise it or not :
- Tonality of my voice
- Body language or non verbal cues
- The word that we use to convey
The fun part is that for most of us all three are impulsive and unconscious outputs. Our communication is at best and most of the times in wrong tone of voice, we are not at all aware of our body language during the conversation and the words just topple one over another without us really realising as to what are we saying vs do the words convey what I want to say?
If I want to communicate the exact import/ intention behind my words to the other, I shall have to be aware of all the three factors and very consciously choose my tone, nonverbal cues and my words. Even after all these there are chances that the intention or the message of the communication goes amiss.
The idea of communication is when the other gets my message clearly without multiple interpretations. The fact of the matter is that we cannot not communicate. It’s best to be able to bring the process of communication under conscious control.
These 3 factors of energy, emotions and communication once done with awareness can bring about a lot of sense of clarity and purpose in life. The missing piece falls in place as the pace is not overwhelming now; in fact it’s I who can govern the pace of life for me. Do give this chance to yourself. Connect, rewind, relearn and evolve to a better self in this journey called life.